Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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