I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
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