***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Do you have feelings for this penis?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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