my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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