I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
The uberlube is also flammable
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
