What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
