she was so not down for the gang bang
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
