i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
