Me too!
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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