Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
