i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
