okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Randomize