Got a toothbrush?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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