So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
