Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
