honey bunches of taint.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
