Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
