I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize
