you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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