need another drink. this is the easiest way
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
