Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
