so that wasnt chicken after all
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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