i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
