my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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