she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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