Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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