So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
