My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
