My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
