She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
As shirtless as possible
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize