You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
