I could have mohawked her pubes.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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