My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Quick, to the slutcave!
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Randomize
