I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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