i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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