so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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