i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
