so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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