Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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