called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I'm both gender and math confused
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize