Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
