sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
