How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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