K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
