i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize