I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
