Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
