you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize