I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
