There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
