I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
