If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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