dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
