3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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