walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
