This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Randomize
