he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
