Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
