This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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