there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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